Bad Side of Town
by demon lilith
Summary: Drugs, sex, and violence, oh my.    Currently a one shot, but may be added to as time passes.


You are going to leave the village soon, and I know why.

It isn't because of families who sold children for fame. It isn't because of older brothers who lie and lie and then lie some more. It isn't Naruto's fault. It is mine.

Konoha is such a lovely little town, don't you think? I've always loved its gardens, filled with such vibrant colors. Remember the training grounds, the huge academy? We used to love it there, safe in the knowledge that we would all be wonderful shinobi and kunoichi. We loved the dainty smattering of shops and other small businesses. Konoha was a land of dreams, offering great protection and opportunities for everyone. Everyone was worth it.

All small towns have secrets. Konoha is by no means a small town. It has no secrets. Everyone can see the sinister side, it is just ignored. You and I used to be able to navigate the dark alleys with our eyes closed, our only guide the smell of spoiled beer and decay. This is where Hinata sleeps when her father kicks her out. This is where Ino gets her alcohol. This is Tenten's house, right next to my cousin's 'shop'. This is where Sakura- I'm sorry, I- stay when she- _I_ can't bear to sleep in Hinata's place. And this is where you used to earn enough money to live.

In order, these are an abandoned building, an alcohol shop that sells to minors, a slave business, an alley where drug dealers lay waiting, a broken down motel, and a building where you got paid to tell your clan's secrets. You refused to talk about your family, but you ratted out the village instead, remember? I hear the pay is good, not that I would know. I survive off of my meager wages from being a ninja. I survive off of my meager wages of Lithium's activities in connection with the cult.

I hate Konoha, don't you know that, Sasuke-kun? Even I must admit they pay well, though. I get just enough for food, drink, rent, and _drink_, and I barely even have to leave my house- unless she's broken down, one step away from the edge, and I need to be Sakura for her. Good girl Sakura always left her house to train and study and hang out with friends. She watched movies, of course. Drink? Why would she and her friends be drinking beer? Wine is much better. I don't really like anything too heavy, but I need at least one drink at the end of the day or the voices come back. I can afford rent, not Medicare. Kabuto promised me he'll help, for a price. I don't care. As long as I can afford it. I doubt it requires money, but as long as he doesn't experiment on me with his little medical poisons I'm fine with it. Really, I'm fine. It's not like he'll hurt me. We're much too close for that.

I don't live with my parents anymore. I'm _gladgladgladglad_, so, so glad. No more alcohol. No more hits. No more loony cousins and drugs. I'm safer here. But I need to be careful. Who would expect a poor little Genin like me to live in such a horrible place? Not Kakashi Sensei, that's for sure. He thinks I'm innocent. I wish. I wish so badly on every star I see, on every cent of spare change that I can't afford to throw into fountains, on every dandelion that grows by losing petals. I wish I was innocent. I wish I was safe. I wish it didn't _hurthurthurt_ until I can't feel at all. I don't need alcohol or little happy pills. I have something much better. We have something much better. We have Dissociative Identity Disorder. We disconnect when we're stressed. The person down there isn't me. No, not me. Because it wasn't me who murdered the Anbu captain. It wasn't. Maybe it was her. Does she look like the type to murder people? I don't think so. But then again, I don't like the type who would murder someone either.

I'm fine. I'm fine, I really am. I don't need alcohol or drugs; not always, at least. I'm not a prostitute or a whore. My parents can't hurt me. I have Kabuto, the best friend a fucked up bitch could hope for. Tenten calls me lucky. _Lucky_. I whisper it. As the words role off my tongue, they sound and taste like tears.

And then there's you.

You're innocent. You're perfect. You can be perfect. Just pretend. Pretend you didn't see what Sensei was doing to that girl, that poor little, little girl. Pretend you didn't see Naruto taking pills to be happy, happy, floaty above the others, never sad, happy. Pretend it's not you and Itachi, you and Kabuto, you and Kakashi. Pretend you didn't see Ino puking up dreams to be sooo skinny! like a model, like a goddess, like a bag of bones. Pretend you didn't see Neji beat Hinata until she was black and blue and then k-i-s-s her like he cared, like he loved her, like she wasn't almost dead. Pretend you're not dying, leaking out oil and gasoline, shattering, screaming into the void. Pretend. Pretend you're a doll. Porcelain. So breakable, but so, so gorgeous. Pretend you're dolly's liquid tears. The blows just change your shape, you're fine, fine, better than fine, you're great. Perfect. Just pretend.

It's a liquid day.

I laugh, grabbing the cigarette from your long, lean fingers. I take a long drag and hold my breath, feeling the smoke settle on my lungs. I rarely smoke and it _burnsburnsburns_ so good that I regret breathing it out. To make up for it I breathe in more deadly smoke and then hold the burning embers to my wrist. As you watch I spell out your name. S-A-S-U-K-E. Such a beautiful name. Sounds good when you tell others. Your name is Sasuke. Sounds good when your brother or Kabuto says it, when we go as a threesome, a foursome, when they call me a whore cause they don't realize the boys need this just as much as I do, that you all don't care the gender of the person kissing you, just that someone is kissing you. Sasuke. Sas-u-ke. Perfect.

"You owe me a cigarette," you drawl in your low tone. I can hear that you're amused, yet annoyed. This was your last cigarette for this month. Your brother keeps track, always sneaking into Konoha if you don't obey his commands. A pack a month. No more, no less. If you sneak another pack, you get hurt. If the pack's not gone, you get hurt.

"I'll get one of Naruto's," I promise, "but why should you want another? I thought that we were both light smokers."

"I am," you reply in annoyance, "but I want alcohol and the damn little cancer sticks seem to help that thirst."

"Besides, Itachi says he likes the smell of smoke on my clothing." And just like that, my perfect liquid day is gone.

Together we stood, together we'll fall. Liquid. Become liquid. Just ripple when they laugh at you. Ripple. 'Bitch!' they call. Ripple. Just ripple. They have no right to be mad at you just because Kabuto likes you. Ripple. Ripple! Too late, you idiot. You used the wrong defense, you became sparklyprettyclear glass instead and now you're broken.

Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In. In. In. There's something in my throat. Air can't enter. My head feels light and floaty, but not in a good way. Maybe there is no good way. Maybe there is no really happy floaty feeling waiting for me. Breathe breathe breathe! Oh God, now I can't see. What did I do wrong?

I can't breathe because there is a rat in my throat. A fat, hairy rat. It's blocking my airways. My lungs are screaming in pain, but the rat is too too fat. It's scratching, scratching like mad at my throat. That burns too, so I suspect that its claws have been dipped in acid. And the hair. Oh God, the hair. It itches. It _itchesitchesitches_ and I can barely keep from scratching my throat's skin off. Don't worry. I'm just pushing the rat further upward. Maybe then he can get out.

But he's the least of my problems. Rats I can handle. Not spiders, and definitely not snakes. The spiders are under my skin. They're crawling, trying to get in deeper. They itch. They itch even worse than the rat. I have to pull them out of my skin. I have to. The spiders will eat me from the inside out. And they itch so badly! The snakes don't itch, they hurt. They're curled around my heart and brain. They're squeezing, **squeezing**, squeezing, and I can't breathe, can't think. My heart is slowing down. Did they bite me? Am I going to die?

I squeeze my eyes shut to avoid the colors fading. Only minutes before, the colors were bright, vibrant, flashing just for me, but now they are disappearing as the snake's venom slides through my veins. My heart is slowing, now they want my brain. Terror overwhelms me.

Are you wondering what's in my brain? It's maggots. They're hatching now, crawling out of my brain, eating their way through my skull, crawling out through my ears. I'm screaming, but everyone is just laughing. They're laughing, and it almost hurts worse than the silence.

I'm clawing at the ground now. My muscles are spazzing, and I can't control them. All I can hear is a rushing sound. It must be the maggots. But they're fading away. Why? Are the spiders eating them? But the darkness is growing lighter, and the rushing is fading, and slowly I realize that the children are all gone. I am alone.

_Oh Sakura-chan. Don't you realize they never were there at all?_

_Wake up, little Alice, before this dream becomes too real for even you._

"Do like my outfit?" Ino asks me. She's wearing a black lace corset with purple streaks and rips showing her stomach. A ruffled black skirt only barely covers her thin, lacy underwear, and only fishnet stockings provide the slightest mystery. Her beautiful blond hair is tied up with a purple ribbon. She's wearing big black boots with purple straps and a spider necklace to complete the look. No, I want to tell her. Why are you wearing that, I want to ask her. But I can't. I already know why she's wearing that. The shop owner wants his monthly payment.

Ino notices my look.

"Hey," she frowns, "at least he's hot. And he's only twenty-something, I think. Besides, he lets me have all the booze I want before we do anything. I can't remember any of it, and I always take the pills." The pills don't always work, I want to say. Where did we go wrong, I want to scream. But I just smile and nod. And smile. And smile. Until it stretches to cover my whole face. It _hurtshurtshurts_, but not as bad as knowing where she's about to go.

"I think I need a cigarette," is all I say, "Maybe a cheap shot." Ino nods.

"Where do you get your alcohol?"

"Kakashi, but all I pay him in is cold hard cash."

"So do I! Manushi-san just expects a little extra to cover for the risk of selling to minors, that's all." Don't do this, Ino. I watch silently as my best friend walks away to her doom. Then I go the opposite way to a situation not entirely different.

"Give me a glass. I don't care what it is, I just need something!" I all but yell, barging in on you and Kakashi. Kakashi looks annoyed, but you look relieved. Apparently Itachi lent you out to Kakashi tonight, and you're not happy. How could you be? I can't help but grin. You can glare and hiss all you want, soon I'm gonna be tipsy and happy. I can hardly wait.

When Kakashi hands me the bottle, I chug. So what if it's rude? I'm no lightweight. I can handle it. Besides, he didn't give me anything heavy… as soon as Kakashi turns around I pour the remaining drink into a plant. It's spiked. Kakashi is cheating again. I glance at you. The only reason why he would risk angering me and cheat was if he didn't want me to see what he was going to do to you. What will he do to you? You're already weak and pale. Have you been drugged? With what? You look seasick. Just looking at you makes me feel sick. My stomach heaves and I remember drinking a sip or two of the brew. Just a sip or two, just two small sips. I'm already swaying. I won't faint. I'm no lightweight. I'm fine.

I need a drink so bad. But I'm not going to sell you out. I still owe you a cigarette, I guess a favor will work instead. I slowly slip out the door and begin to run. I try to run. I'm sliding like I'm on ice. Maybe I am. I can't travel straight. People are sidestepping me, but no one gets the police. They don't realize I didn't mean to get high. They don't care.

I need help. I hate relying on Kabuto but I doubt that he will mind. I haven't seen him in a while, which he doesn't like. He says he's addicted to me. I don't doubt it. That guy gets so over possessive…

Fear shoots through me. I don't want to see him again, not so soon. But he won't hurt me. He won't hurt me. He promised he wouldn't hurt me. He promised!

So I run, the city flashing past me, flashing red and green and blue. I feel sick again. I'll never trust Kakashi again.

_But I know she will._

"Kabuto!" I yell, banging on his door, "Kabuto!"

He opens, the door, looking tired.

"What is it?" he yawns. I had almost forgotten that it was two in the morning.

"Kabuto, Kakashi drugged Sasuke and me, and I think he's doing something bad to Sasuke, and Itachi's not here right now!" Kabuto's eyes widen, then narrow.

"Come on." He grabs my arm, dragging me towards where Kakashi is. I stumble, trip, fall, but I'm right beside him and we find Kakashi right where we left him. I left him. He left us. My head hurts, things are fading, I can literally feel myself curling up, deep inside, but leaving the body, floating, gone…

_Here. I stand up straight, looking Kakashi directly in the eye. He stares are me, wondering why I am unaffected by the drugs. How I can remain so calm when you are right before us, covered in sticky white, eyes half closed, barely breathing. The air is thick with the rusty (lusty) scent of blood, and even Kabuto has turned pale. I do not blink. Kakashi has picked the wrong girl to mess with. A Jounin like him should have known better than to overdose on Lithium._

Eyes open. Try to sit up. Fall back down. Head hurts. Dizzy. Room still tilting. Just because She can't be affected doesn't mean I don't get stuck with the after affects. Barely able to glance at you, but there you are. Right beside me. Shivering, cuts lining your back. But you're alive, and only slightly worse for the wear. I'm sure this isn't the first time this has happened to you. I'm sure it won't be the last time this will happen to you. What happened to us?

**.End.**


End file.
